literature

hipsters.

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Literature Text

   "Hipsters". Seldom do you hear a single word spoken with such disgust and mockery, comparable to accusing someone of being a "Nazi", a "politician" or even a "cheerleader". They are a fail-proof "in" among social groups- you gain instant approval with the renouncing of hipster ways. Hipsters. Their insistence of being original is a paradox withing itself- after all, one cannot be original while they are grouped with other "originals". They are a scourge upon our young nation and are the inevitable death of individuality.

   "What's so wrong with hipsters?", you may ask. The answer is as plain as the scarf around a hipster's neck and the over-sized beret on their head. They are an epidemic of "individuals", striving to express their "original" beliefs, clothing, music, and attitudes... Which are all the same. For instance- "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, a hipster would buy the soundtrack." It is sickening.

   Just from personal experience, I've had the misfortune of coming across the increasingly not-so-occasional hipster. They're wearing oddly shaped gauges, thick-framed black glasses, and penny loafers. They have a sort of self-entitlement emanating off of them, as a result of their false authenticity. The conversation usually goes like this:

   Hipster Douche: "So, what kind of music do you listen to?"

   I list some band that I've loved for a while, even though they aren't screamo or acoustic indie pop/rock.

   Hipster Douche: "Oh man, I used to listen to them all the time before anyone else did- I practically discovered them. Then everyone else started liking them and they're way too mainstream now. But have you heard of -insert obscure band name here-?"

   I shake my head, still insulted that this dude just called my favorite band mainstream.

   Hipster Douche: "You should totally check them out. They're so brutal!"

   Hipsters strive to make themselves outcasts and surround themselves with other outcasts, and for some reason, this makes them "cool". And yet, they scoff at others who don't share their taste in music or clothing, making them outcasts... the not cool kind.
Hipster Douche: Oh, you don't like taking pictures of yourself with big glasses and hanging out at a coffee shop all day? Weirdo. Have fun living in the mainstream.

   Anyone who's not like them isn't popular to the hipster crowd... hypocritical, much? How can an entire group of "individuals" all be original, yet be the same?

   This is the problem with hipsters. They are a paradoxical group of hypocrites who are slowly killing originality. They are: the original paradox.
this is that one essay i had to write- but it turned out pretty great. and entertaining. enjoy?
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merearthling's avatar
oh my this makes me laugh! is this an 'original' diatribe or is this a 'repro' diatribe & what is a hipster:-? is that a 'hick' with a hip replacement:-o